Hey hey fellow sausages. I just spent today putting up the new Nonna Maria video (with an extra video that I’m going to promote next week). This video’s all about trying to muscle out your grandparents when they’re trying to watch their TV shows (hint: it doesn’t work!). What are some funny ass tv shows/programs your grandparents used to watch and shockingly understand?
It’s that time of the week! You know! When you have to call your parole officer and tell them you didn’t go near any old folks homes… and it’s also… FRIDAY. Which means it’s time for the FRIDEO, Friday’s video of the day!! Consequently it’s Black Friday today, which is a day where low low prices on toasters and television remote controls turn Americans into zombies causing them to swarm over to their nearest Walmart and Best Buy, stopping at nothing, trampling on innocent victims who are not aware that you can get Van Damme’s Sudden Death on Blu-ray. It’s a sad sad day in the world. What has that got to do with the video? Nothing really, the video’s about animals and particularly how animals can ALSO be jerks too. Now, this video is already epic in and of itself, but it’s the music that brings it home. Seriously, I’ve never seen an amateur shot YouTube video with a score this good. Apparently, the song is from Predator but from now on, it’s the song from “That YouTube video where the two birds are assholes and that black cat fucks shit up.”
FRIDEO RUNNER UP -
If I hadn’t posted this video on Twitter and Facebook, this would’ve surely taken this week’s FRIDEO. The video is appropriately titled “Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit” and it’s content appropriately proves why the video is appropriately titled. It’s a series of clips taken from Nic Cage’s movies in which he continuously loses his shit, over and over again. I always thought of Nic Cage as a kind’ve a-list Tommy Wiseau (actually, not always, just from when I realized Tommy Wiseau existed). He’s trying to be taken seriously, but everyone’s not really laughing WITH him… just kind’ve AT him. It makes me feel bad for him a little but then I remember he has enough money to buy the moon and I don’t feel bad for him anymore.
Here’s something that’s always fun: FEEDBACK. I love getting feedback. Lately one of my students came up to me and said, “You haven’t done-did a new Awesomesausage! Done-do one!!” Then I was like, “Holy shit, you’re right!” That’s when I FAILED HIM!! MUHAHA. No seriously, a lot of people have told me how they loved the comic and I love to hear that! I was going to do them regardless of what people thought (levitating breasts are so funny to me) so the positive comments are definitely nice validation. Without further a-doing-things, here’s an Awesomesausage on Friends…
**inspired by real events.
Well, if it wasn’t obvious on my website, this weekend was Cupcake Camp Montreal 2010. Which was sort’ve like Cupcake Camp Montreal 2009 except there were like 4x more people. Last year, 800 people showed up raising over $8000. This year there was over 2500 people and all together they raised $34500 (over double the expected amount of $15000). Over 20,000 cupcakes were donated… 20,000!!!! All in all, a serious WIN for both charities. GO AWESOME PEOPLE!
I was on hand as a cupcake judge. Yes, my culinary skills and ability to taste and judge food is unparalleled so it’s obvious they’d invite me to be on the same judging panel as Ricardo from Ricardo and Friends, Chuck Hughes, Nadia G, and other culinary experts. Actually, I was there cause I do a puppet thing. I was also there to judge FAILCAKES… which, if you don’t know, are cupcakes made out of FAIL. More on that in a second.
My judging experience was interesting, especially since I was teamed up with Ricardo on some of the cupcakes. Needless to say, I’m not that great at pretending I know about food. Basically, here’s how it works: there’s a preliminary judge who tries ALL the cupcakes and separates the better ones from the real bad ones (kind’ve like the preliminary judging competitions of American Idol expect with cupcakes). Also, yes, there’s awesome people like Elvio G who had basically tried almost every cupcake there. Then, the cupcakes that pass the preliminary judging round get cup up into quarters and are given to the judges. In one round I was teamed up with Ricardo and a volunteer brought Ricardo and I five pieces of five different cupcakes each to try. Immediately I put on my “yeah, I know how to taste food” persona in hopes of impressing Ricardo. I looked over the different cupcakes to see which one looked the most appetizing. There was an interesting strawberry cupcake thing going on in one of the plates and I kind’ve was already sold on it tasting good. I looked over to Ricardo and he was examining the same cupcake I was examining. Immediately I thought, “Yeah, see, Ricardo finds that cupcake looks good also! I’m awesome. I know my food stuff.” I watched, attentively, as Ricardo examined the cupcake, trying to decipher what he might be conducting in his head about the cupcake. That’s when Ricardo looked at me and proclaimed, “Yeah, I’m not even TRYING that one.” Nonchalantly, I nodded my head and said, “I know, eh?” Having no idea why we just rejected what I thought was the best looking cupcake there. “Yeah, that cupcake looks… so.. yeah.. I wouldn’t eat that.. I mean… why? why wouldn’t I eat that? seriously, why? I have no idea,” I admitted. Ricardo took the cupcake and showed me that the dough hadn’t risen. “Ohh.. yeah, that sucks.”
Needless to say, I had fun pretending to be local celebrity but more fun interacting with the unsuspecting crowd with my Nonna attacks (basically, I’d sneak up on people and put Nonna right next to them so when they’d turn around and see Nonna they’d freak a little). Quite a few Nonna fans showed up (I’m being modest, A LOT of fans showed up) to take pictures with Nonna, Chef Luigi, and Davie.
Basically, being the novelty judge we alsohad to judge the novelty cupcakes. Which brings us back to those FAILCAKES I mentioned earlier. This year there was a quite a few FAILCAKES submitted compared to last year’s ONLY submission (done by yours truly). What’s a FAILCAKE? Well, pictures can say it better than words.
Yeah, take a GOOD LOOK at that last Oyster cupcake. I got to TRY that thing. Yes, I put a piece of it in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed it… How’d it taste? Well, not as bad as I thought it was going to taste but I believe the term I used to describe it’s taste was: DEPRESSION. Yes, it tasted like DEPRESSION.
In the end, it was all for a good cause – the Kid’s Help Phone and La Tablée des Chefs were the charities that the money is going to help. I’ve used Kid’s Help Phone in my youth when I was getting bullied by some kids on my way home from school. Basically, they’d push my friends and I around and sometimes would bring bats and weapons to taunt us. It was a scary experience and Kid’s Help Phone really pulled through in helping us take the right actions to avoid and stop these kids from bullying us. There’s a lot to be said in that department these days, with bullying rising among teens and especially gay teens. People need some place to go and people to talk to and Kid’s Help Phone is there and we’re grateful for that.
I’m grateful to have been a part of this amazing event and I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to hand it to Laura Carmosino and Eva Blue for pulling this monster off. Eva Blue also managed to come help us film both the promo and Nonna Maria videos that were promoting the event in between baking 400 cupcakes for the cupcake canon and answer the loads and loads of e-mails she receives at all times. Ladies, you are inspiring and amazing for putting all this together. Nonna Maria, Chef Luigi, Davie, and I are eternally grateful for making us part of this amazingly fun event. We <3 You!!!
So, what’s next? Well, on to Cupcake Camp Montreal 3… bigger? better? we’ll see next year once our sugar high from this year dies down.
It’s Friday and it’s time for the Friday’s Video of the Day… or the Frideo. I think it might be cheating that I’m putting up a Nonna Maria video as the Frideo but Cupcake Camp is on SUNDAY and the word needs to spread… like icing… hahaha… that was amazing. Seriously, like seriously, guys, this is the BEST event ever. If you’re a foodie, if you have a sweet tooth, or if you have some kind of sick fetish to get shot in the face with a cupcake, this is the EVENT for YOU. It’s going to be amazingly fun and Nonna Maria is judging the cupcakes along side some seriously awesome guest celebrity judges.
Here’s a look at who’s judging with Nonna Maria:
It’s almost here!! The most awesome, sweetest, sugar highest, biggest miniature pastry themed event ever! The 2nd Annual Cupcake Camp Montreal is back and it’s BIGGER than ever!! If we were to judge by last year’s results where event organizers were expecting 150 people and instead got over 700 people to show up to the event, then you know this year’s going to be AWESOME. More judges, more cupcakes, bigger venue, all equal out to one HUGE event.
I’ll be attending as a judge for the FAILCAKE contest. I get to eat the cupcakes and Nonna Maria gets to voice her opinion about them. You should come and check it out! If you submit a FAILCAKE, I’m the one who has the burden of trying it! If it sucks, you might win something!!
And finally, here’s this year’s promo vid directed, edited, and animated by yours truly! It’s really going to be an AWESOME event!
For more information on the event, visit: http://cupcakecampmtl.org/2010/
Also, check out Nonna Maria’s experience LAST YEAR at Cupcake Camp Montreal
and finally, if you’re interested, last year’s Cupcake Camp Montreal promo vid:
It’s Friday and it’s time for Friday’s video of the day! I know, I’ve never really done this feature before but it’s never too late to start. I’m hoping to stick by this feature… not like the other ones. Basically, the FRIDEO is a video I’ll put up every Friday and WHY I like it. Simple as sausages.
Today’s video comes from my hometown of Montreal from a YouTube user named iannickmerette. The video easily wins him the title of “French Canadian Double Rainbow Guy but with UFOs.” The guy is hilarious. All his videos follow the same winning formula. Before I go too far into it, take a look at this video where he expresses excitement about a UFO that’s “morph” before his “heyes!” While the whole video is unintentional comedy gold, if you got the attention span of a goldfish then just fast forward to 3 minutes in where the comedy really takes off! Henjoy!
Iannick seems to always use the same formula for his videos. He points his camera to some random star or airplane in the sky, yells at said star/airplane about how “fucked up it is” and also makes sure to include the weather report (“it’s fuhckhing cahold!”). The best part of his videos is at the end where he offers the audience 4 “choice” of what the UFO could be.
It can be:
1) A Helicopter.
3) Weather Balloon.
He gives us these options at the end of EVERY ONE OF HIS VIDEOS. Without fail. Iannick knows that a winning formula works!
What I find amazing is that he spends the whole 5 minutes exclaiming that it’s a UFO and doesn’t offer us the option that it might just as well be an alien.
I’m going to continue watching Iannick and I’m praying for the episode where he finally gets abducted by aliens.
Halloween proved to be pretty awesome this year as it pretty much is every year. This year, however, I decided to put in a little more effort into my costume than ever before. It might’ve been hard to top last year’s inside joke costume, but I think I managed.
For Halloween I decided to go as a Chilean miner. I’m sure about 1/4 of the world’s population went as the same thing but I decided in order to really capture the Chilean Mine Rescue you need the KEY element: THE PHOENIX 2 CAPSULE.
Yes, I decided to recreate the capsule used to rescue the trapped miners in order to capture the true essence of a key part in Chile’s history. Also, it came with an impromptu cup holder!
I did not expect the reaction my Halloween costume got! It was honestly the best time I’ve ever spent in an upside down trash can! The costume made the rounds on the internet too! Making Reddit’s front page and also being feature on The Daily What and Boredom.net as well as other random websites I’ve never heard of before. With that, I’d like to give a little insight as to what went into making the costume.
I had the idea for the costume ever since I witnessed the Chilean miner rescue on television. I thought it was an awesomingly amazing moment. Watching the miners come out of the Phoenix 2 to hug their loved ones and yell with pride and joy at seeing the sun for the first time in 69 days was amazing. Seriously, there was so much humanity in those hours of rescue that it almost made up for the hours upon hours of bullshit news reporting that we’re meant to put up with.
Also, it was another excuse for me to wear an extremely ridiculous get-up in public without getting arrested (Halloween is awesome). So onwards I went with the intentions of creating this costume! How was it done? Well, if you haven’t figured it out yet it’s pretty damn simple. The costume is composed of basically three things:
1) An aluminium garbage can.
2) A regular CONSTRUCTION WORKER Halloween costume.
3) A wheel for a clothing line.
So, at first I purchased paint and the garbage can. My intention was to cut a square hole on the side of the garbage can that would represent the door of the Phoenix 2. I sketched into the garbage can where I expected the door to end up.
Next it was time to cut the hole on the side of the garbage can, in order to do this I had to ask my dad if he had any type of metal cutting tool. The conversation went something like this:
Then it came down to painting the garbage can. Advice: paint takes 24 hours to dry so don’t wait until the same day to paint something you’d need to carry and be in contact with for the entire night.
After waiting an eternity for the paint to dry and praying it would, it was time to fixate the clothing line wheel.
That’s it! I was ready to go!! Finally, here’s some insight as to how my Halloween night went and some experience I garnered that night.
Things I Learned When I Wore a Garbage Can Over my Head for About 6 Hours.
1) People will bang and knock on it.
2) Smoke and bad breath (other people’s) tend to linger inside.
3) If you’re already self conscious about your voice, you’ll become even more so.
4) Bring STRAWS.
5) Blind spots are non existent.
6) Being in a garbage can is like having one of those days where you can’t stop thinking and you’re stuck inside your head… x2
It’s been a while!! Finally, the stars have aligned and I’ve managed to get a new Nonna Maria video together! This is Nonna’s trip to the salon!! Let me know what you guys think!! No more effing around! New videos and events are coming up!!
Before I begin this blog post/rant – know this: I’m a straight gay rights activist. In fact, let’s just say I’m a “love” activist (sounds like a cheesy pick-up line), which means, I’ll do anything for the manifestation of love here on earth. That’s why I honestly and truly believe that if two people are in love then there’s nothing we SHOULD do to stop it. In fact, there’s nothing we CAN do to stop love. If two people want to love each other, they’ll fight obstacle after obstacle to showcase their love is real. It’s my belief, as a humble human, that we must encourage love so it can dissipate the hate in the world.
Then, I see this:
I watched this video and I wasn’t like, “oh yeah! fuckin’ kick their asses!! yeah!!” No, I was more infuriated than anything else. Am I the only one who’s read a Dale Carnegie book around here? This video takes the whole movement down a peg. How can gays and lesbians showcase love when they’re spewing hate like this?
I get it, we’re angry. I get angry too when I see the stupid despicable things that are said and done by the delusional extremist religious conservative right (let’s call them DERCRs from here on out) but the best way to fight this isn’t to say, “FUCK YOU!” If you want someone to learn about you and respect you then you must start off that process by showing curiosity and respect first. You can’t fight hate with hate. You can only fight hate with love.
How do we do that? Well, we need to learn what these DERCRs intentions really are… why are they putting so much effort and time on hating? It’s my belief that every action we take has a good intention behind it even though it might be a seemingly bad action. Take Denzel Washington’s character’s actions in the film John Q for example. John Q, who is a down-on-his-luck father who can’t pay his son’s medical bills, takes an entire hospital hostage so that they can perform life saving surgery on his son. The action of taking hostages, which is seemingly bad, is driven by the love between father and son and the good intention of wanting the son to be healthy. The hostage taking and all the negativity would never had happened if the doctors and insurance companies connected to John Q’s real intention and drive. They don’t; which then leads to all these drastic measures. While the example of John Q is a little more concrete and perhaps every father out there can see themselves driven to a point where’d they’d probably take this kind of action, in the case of the DERCRs we’re stuck with a more disillusioned group. Disillusionment usually comes when we think in absolutes; i.e. “gays shouldn’t marry”"there’s one religion” “there is no God” “there is a God” etc. When we state and talk in absolutes, that’s where problems arise. The idea of perception and that everyone has their own lens to view the world fades and we’re left with an unending conflict because we can’t take a few moments to try to see it from someone else’s eyes despite the hatred they might be spewing.
My fellow gays and lesbians, let’s be the bigger ones here. Let’s show the example. If we’re doing this for love then let’s KEEP doing this for love. To say FUCK YOU to these people is using the same hate they’re using, the same hate that’s holding BACK the whole gay rights movement. Be stoic and serene in your fight for your rights because shouting matches will only help solidify the negative false opinions we have on each other.
With much love,
EDIT: Well, we seem to have started a nice dialog in the comments section with brings me to the conclusion that, although controversial, the FCKH8 campaign is a success because it’s garnering attention. I reacted to it prompting me to write this blog post which prompted others to comment which sparked a dialog. It has people talking and on that level it’s a success. Prop 8 SHOULD and WILL be abolished and like Francesco (in the comments section below) put it:
I think the point of the campaign is to try to empower people who are brought down by hate, and not condemn those that do it. The message might be closer to “keep on truckin’” than a direct “fuck you”
Thanks for your comments, let’s NOT stop talking about it!